return the Bronx statute of the 16th century to its rightful place viz the Lord Chancellor's very deep and very moist depository. Meanwhile, Gladys has demonstrated her new Bavarian technique to the ho, who thought it a marvelous idea.
They called Plod and asked him to pick up Bernadette Bernadotte of Bern on the way, and come over to the stage to demonstrate his own version of the ho followed by Bernadette Bernadotte of Bern performing a duo pole dance with the ho, while Gladys and Plod were apprehended by the bouncer for the small sachet found in the lining of Gladys' padded bra which she'd placed there the night before during a clandestine meeting with the geezer with the Ford Capri. However, Plod protested innocence despite traces on his waistcoat, indicative of having had contact with Glady's generous cleavage and extracting the car keys which she habitually stored there.
Picking up the ho, they hoofed it to the car park just in time to be intercepted by their favourite dwarf who asked to be thrown a coming out party for his debutant twin sisters, but for Plod the game was on, he needed a swift getaway in order to catch the ho before it started to rain. After a few circuits around the town square he caught her, and together they walked to what later, in court, became known as a public poll investigating public opinion on the use of mustard as a substitute for Vick's vaporub for the treatment of the underlying cause of Plod's irritable itch on his nose and his reading of surreal poetry by the light of the silvery moon that shone brightly on Plod's Austin Allegro, parked in a disabled bay in readiness to deliver the box of Cadbury's Milk Tray that had by now become a gooey mess that the dwarf and the ho were merrily smearing on each other, in preparation for their participation in the "Bake Off" tv programme.
Plod has not been seen on screen since the incident with the Welsh rabbit that Glady's was about to do a Ronnie Pickering on, but instead she decided to wait for Plod to return from his covert liaison with her at no 29. Instead, however, she put on her comfy bunny slippers, opened a family packet of Haribos and signed on to her Tinder account; she thought wistfully, Plod can go and while he's gone maybe she can persuade the dwarf and the ho to help her to re-enact the last episode, this time without the police intervention and subsequent high speed car chase scenes.
She knew the ho was an excellent driver, but it was somewhat unnerving going at 120 km/h in that dinky little mini coupe through all those tunnels trying to simultaneously stop the dwarf from mooning at the nuns and navigating the way through the approaching Magic Roundabout at Swindon which was curiously surrounded by police cars manned by Plod look-a-likes. Meanwhile the dwarf was in the back of the car doing a fairly good tango with Bernadette Bernadotte of Bern.
The ho turned to Plod and said: "I think I've told you before, I really have a doctorate in the quantum properties of rare earth elements at micro-Kelvin temperatures. I'm ho-ing in my spare time to finance the research, you have no idea how niggardly they are with funding."
"Do you think I really enjoy the pole dancing? Of course I do, it's a great way to keep fit and be paid for it. And I get away from that stuffy lab and meet some interesting people, have a bit of fun and make some money. What's not to like about it?"
Then she became busy with some tricky driving in the round-about and Plod...
(to be continued...)
7/8
sexta-feira, 29 de janeiro de 2016
Tubos de origami podem ter uso como antenas e estruturas.
A antiga arte de dobras de papel, origami, pode em breve ser a base de antenas auto-reconfiguráveis, dispositivos microfluídicos cujas características se alteram durante a operação – até dutos de ar condicionado e aquecimento que se ajustam com a demanda.
Estas aplicações serão o resultado de tubos origami desenvolvido por pesquisadores de três instituições, incluindo Georgia Institute of Technology. Pelas alterações das dobras do papel o mesmo tubo pode ter seis ou mais configurações. No momento as alterações são manuais, no futuro atuadores magnéticos ou elétricos seriam usados em aplicações reais.
Os tubos podem ser achatados para transporte e fabricados em tamanhos desde nanoescala até estruturas arquitetônicas. Pela aplicação da teoria matemática das dobras os pesquisadores podem criar tubos com as características necessárias para engenharia elétrica, engenharia civil, e outros. Os tubos usam o padrão Miura-ori, um dos muitos utilizados em origami.
“Desenvolvemos um novo tipo de tubo origami reconfigurável para muitos perfis diferentes,” diz Glaucio Paulino, professor na School of Civil and Environmental Engineering do Georgia Institute of Technology. “Também desenvolvemos uma teoria matemática que nos ajuda a desenhar os tubos e prever como podem ser reconfigurados ou reprogramados.”
A pesquisa teve apoio da National Science Foundation e publicada em 27 de janeiro 2016 na revista Proceedings of the Royal Society. Com Paulino, a equipe foi composta por Evgueni Filipov, graduado na University of Illinois na Urbana-Champaign e professor Tomohiro Tachi da universidade de Tóquio.
A fabricação inicia criando cortes no papel em um dispositivo semelhante a uma impressora. Um cortador especial é guiado pelo programa de computador para criar cortes parciais no papel grosso, controlando a velocidade e força do cortador. Os cortes facilitam dobrar e colar as partes dos tubos, que podem ser achatados e depois expandidos.
A inovação da equipe foi criar dobras com duas opções. Uma dobra pode criar uma seção saindo do tubo, como uma colina, ou pode criar uma vale no tubo. Estas variações permitem a seleção das várias configurações, cada uma gerando um perfil diferente.
“O perfil de cada seção é diferente, a área do tubo é diferente e as propriedades do tubo são diferentes,” diz Paulino. “A possibilidade de criar perfis diferentes é crítica, especialmente no caso de aplicações multi-físicas tais como origami desdobrável em conjunto com materiais responsivos.”
Entre as aplicações em potencial são tubos reconfiguráveis que podem conduzir energia eletromagnética funcionando como antenas. Dobras diferentes permitiriam o funcionamento em diversas frequências, interessante para aplicações comerciais e militares.
“A antena do seu telefone foi projetada para operar numa frequência especifica,” Paulino explica. “Se desejasse operar numa outra frequência teria que usar outra antena. Tendo a capacidade de reconfigurar teríamos a mesma antena origami funcionando em várias frequencias.”
Outras aplicações seriam desde diminutos tubos microfluídicos conduzindo líquidos, até aplicações em escala de engenharia e arquitetura em dutos e tubulações, e mesmo estruturas de sombra para edifícios durante a estação quente do ano.
Mesmo sendo de papel, os tubos origami podem ser bem resistentes suportando cargas pesadas, sendo facilmente dobráveis quando não em uso. Na prática, os tubos seriam feitos com polímeros flexíveis ou outros materiais.
Estruturas origami são antigas, o que Paulino e seus colaboradores contribuíram é a teoria e compreensão matemática permitindo uma abordagem de engenharia para o desenvolvimento das novas configurações dos tubos.
“Com a teoria matemática completa podemos prever quantos perfis cada tubo permite. Essa teoria é bem potente, temos a matemática, a teoria e os protótipos para demonstrar as ideias. Podemos programar esses tubos poligonais para criar praticamente qualquer formato.”
Futuramente Paulino e seus colaboradores pretendem criar um mecanismo atuador para reerguer os tubos conforme necessidade. O sistema poderia operar por estruturas magnéticas ou eletrônicas.
“Estamos trabalhando para juntar a capacidade de reconfiguração com uma função programável para ativar as dobras remotamente, assim poderíamos alterar as configurações à vontade.”
Em setembro de 2015 a mesma equipe relatou a criação de um tubo origami “zíper”, com estruturas em papel rígidos o bastante para suportar peso e ao mesmo tempo podendo ser achatados para fácil transporte. O método pode se aplicar a qualquer tipo de material plano, como plásticos e metais, transformando estruturas desde mobília e construções até microrrobôs.
quarta-feira, 20 de janeiro de 2016
Preto Pedante
Veja no Youtube
PRETO PEDANTE
Você me chamou de preto pedante
para desfazer da cor
não sabes que eu tenho orgulho
do que você tem horror
vale mais o meu cartaz
que é tudo que você tem
motivo de ser da cor
nunca desonrou ningém
se você pensa que é branca
mulatinha tola
é o que você é
esta pele amarelada
eu trago na sola do pé
Mas você me chamou de preto pedante
...
PRETO PEDANTE
Você me chamou de preto pedante
para desfazer da cor
não sabes que eu tenho orgulho
do que você tem horror
vale mais o meu cartaz
que é tudo que você tem
motivo de ser da cor
nunca desonrou ningém
se você pensa que é branca
mulatinha tola
é o que você é
esta pele amarelada
eu trago na sola do pé
Mas você me chamou de preto pedante
...
domingo, 17 de janeiro de 2016
The Ongoing Saga of Gladys and Plod, part 3.
untipped woodbine at sixpence for twenty, however, suddenly the postman appeared, bringing an enormous package addressed to Plod. Upon opening he blushed deeply and tried to prevent Gladys from seeing the extruded polyethylene.
"Is that a new truncheon, or are you just pleased to see me?" said Gladys, slipping her burka off and peeling open a grape. Plod hesitated, he had heard that tone from Gladys before and he knew that it meant one thing, she'd soon go into a housecleaning frenzy, turning everything upside down and leaving him without his adult magazines or, God forbid, his favourite jar of peanut butter. Why had he not listened to his old Latin teacher who had told him that in situations like this it was always best to do as Caesar did, id est adsum iam forte washed down with a large mug of tea, presumably.
However, thinking like lightning and desperate to avoid housework, he announced to Gladys he was going to treat her to a slap up meal at Leicester Forest East services but Gladys took her battered copy of Tatler Restaurant Guide 2015 from her handbag and said "to hell with that, I fancy some experimental cuisine, you can take me to Fera in Mayfair, Tatler says they do a houching Cornish lobster with dittander and for afters I'd like a jolly good stiff chota peg and a couple of hours with those two volumes of Proust and a plate of madeleines in the twilight of the car park. However, Plod had other ideas, throwing open his portmanteau he revealed his secret weapon, a 14 inch piece of twine, to be used when the bloody car wouldn't start and he'd lost the address of the Baroness who had invited him up for a "cocktail".
"I'll bring the tail", she winked, it was something in her eye, damn those 50p contact lenses, packet of 10 with every 20 litres of super go faster unleaded, she should have gone for the Thermos flask and USB hairbrush ice-scraper; anyway it was getting late and she couldn't shake the words of the 3 amigos: "whatever happens". Not so fast said Plod, tossing his package on the bonnet of the Quattro, I wondered why this rucksack was curiously heavy, that cloven footed creature has taken residence in it, complete with kitchen, satellite dish and 58 inch telly. Turning it upside down, out dropped the missing velvet pouch containing the pair of Night vision goggles that Plod had mislaid in the bushes whilst looking for his night vision goggles and yet he hesitated, unable to fulfil his promise to demonstrate his oscillating vacillations, would he, could he; if only he hadn't bought that crocodile; he resolved to ask Gladys that very night if she would return from Basingstoke where she had been exercising her willpower to convince the ho that they really needed to visit Bernadette Bernadotte of Bern instead of the regular annual allotment holders bus trip around the turnpike, where there were a lot of lunatics, crazy lunatics who didn't like the shape of things to come.
"Now look here", the ho glowered at Gladys and Plod, "this thing keeps falling off the edge, could I please ask you to pay more attention"? Plod, red in face, looked at the moon and howled. It was a howl that Gladys had heard before, at the dwarf tossing contest.
It had been raining that night just as they got to Soho, looking for the place called the height of depravity by the vicar of Wolverhampton in his annual sermon on the night of Halloween calling all to repent and to...
(to be continued)
5/6
"Is that a new truncheon, or are you just pleased to see me?" said Gladys, slipping her burka off and peeling open a grape. Plod hesitated, he had heard that tone from Gladys before and he knew that it meant one thing, she'd soon go into a housecleaning frenzy, turning everything upside down and leaving him without his adult magazines or, God forbid, his favourite jar of peanut butter. Why had he not listened to his old Latin teacher who had told him that in situations like this it was always best to do as Caesar did, id est adsum iam forte washed down with a large mug of tea, presumably.
However, thinking like lightning and desperate to avoid housework, he announced to Gladys he was going to treat her to a slap up meal at Leicester Forest East services but Gladys took her battered copy of Tatler Restaurant Guide 2015 from her handbag and said "to hell with that, I fancy some experimental cuisine, you can take me to Fera in Mayfair, Tatler says they do a houching Cornish lobster with dittander and for afters I'd like a jolly good stiff chota peg and a couple of hours with those two volumes of Proust and a plate of madeleines in the twilight of the car park. However, Plod had other ideas, throwing open his portmanteau he revealed his secret weapon, a 14 inch piece of twine, to be used when the bloody car wouldn't start and he'd lost the address of the Baroness who had invited him up for a "cocktail".
"I'll bring the tail", she winked, it was something in her eye, damn those 50p contact lenses, packet of 10 with every 20 litres of super go faster unleaded, she should have gone for the Thermos flask and USB hairbrush ice-scraper; anyway it was getting late and she couldn't shake the words of the 3 amigos: "whatever happens". Not so fast said Plod, tossing his package on the bonnet of the Quattro, I wondered why this rucksack was curiously heavy, that cloven footed creature has taken residence in it, complete with kitchen, satellite dish and 58 inch telly. Turning it upside down, out dropped the missing velvet pouch containing the pair of Night vision goggles that Plod had mislaid in the bushes whilst looking for his night vision goggles and yet he hesitated, unable to fulfil his promise to demonstrate his oscillating vacillations, would he, could he; if only he hadn't bought that crocodile; he resolved to ask Gladys that very night if she would return from Basingstoke where she had been exercising her willpower to convince the ho that they really needed to visit Bernadette Bernadotte of Bern instead of the regular annual allotment holders bus trip around the turnpike, where there were a lot of lunatics, crazy lunatics who didn't like the shape of things to come.
"Now look here", the ho glowered at Gladys and Plod, "this thing keeps falling off the edge, could I please ask you to pay more attention"? Plod, red in face, looked at the moon and howled. It was a howl that Gladys had heard before, at the dwarf tossing contest.
It had been raining that night just as they got to Soho, looking for the place called the height of depravity by the vicar of Wolverhampton in his annual sermon on the night of Halloween calling all to repent and to...
(to be continued)
5/6
terça-feira, 5 de janeiro de 2016
The Ongoing Saga of Gladys and Plod, part 2.
perform the spiritual spring dance that Bernadette had that evening demonstrated, only this time he replaced the high kick with an extended arabesque and wholly inappropriate series of grand battements. While spinning like a dervish in the lounge Plod couldn't help but notice the three musketeers in the bar having a glass of wine.
"How odd" he thought, "they're not supposed to be here until Tuesday". There was only one thing to do. Performing a swift entrechat he then opened the calendar and set it to Tuesday. This,of course, was likely to upset the Royal Astronomer, but in the wider view it mattered not one jot. He was aware that the Gregorian calendar adopted in 1582 was in fact in error. The effect of the temporal offset of 0.002% against the Julian calendar to regularise the date of Easter had in fact been eroded, largely due the chancellor's recent austerity measures.
In effect, last Thursday had been cancelled and the extra leap seconds accumulated since 1582 meant that today was indeed Tuesday. Feeling rather self assured he approached the first of the three amigos and with a swift double Smirnoff he jumped in the taxi, "quickly, to the nearest eyewear emporium, I need to restore the plaquette before meeting the marchioness for a spot of dwarf tossing at the Dog and Duck in the Old Kent Road, followed by cheese rolling down the hill, some Morris dancing and then back to Gladys, who by this time has her version of events concerning the three amigos"...
Not in my lifetime pal, she said, swigging back the bitter tears of the dusky memories that had plagued her all her life. Why are men all unable to put the seat down, she sniffed "I don't need to put up with this, I have a cycling proficiency certificate and my Tuffty Club membership is still valid", she though to herself, but the sudden ban from PPRuNe was still uppermost in her mind so she decided now was her chance to take revenge so armed with nothing more than her trusty router and peanut butter sandwich, she plugged in the sandwich (which really was a disguise for her tablet) and hacked into Nigeria Central Bank.
By candle light she started to type: " Dear Sirs, I am well pleased to tell you yous has won a fountain pen and a lifelong subscription to "The Journal of Black Country Blues and Dixieland Jazz". To recieve this excellent offer all you need to do is send us your credit card details". After sending it off, she set off with a spade and the family bucket in the direction of the local NHS Care in the Community centre, where being met by a lady in a white coat, asked for directions to the beach, she needed some sand for building a new health centre in Castle design to fit in culturally with the area and also to attend to the matter of her lapsed ASBO for interfering with postal ballot papers for the election of the Grand Poobha at the White Chapel Masonic Lodge, the prospective candidate being a former teddy bear manufacturer, a distant relative to Plod.
Due to this Plod had always harboured ideas of an inheritance, he fancied himself as a teddy bear magnate, mixing with the good and great of Little Snorkeling on the Wold. If only his old schoolmaster had not turned him off Latin, how different things could have turned out.
It was here the tale took an unexpected turn, arriving from Milton Keynes without warning, his former camel wrestling tutor, who, whip in hand and camel in tow, said hey babe, take a walk on the boardwalk, the council only recently relaid new teak planks.
In the meanwhile, Gladys and her new partner Irmintrude began to sew 10 thousand sequins onto her ballgown for the final of Strictly Come Sequin-sewing, very popular with the over 80's, who miss Black and White TV with the commentary of the colours of the outfits and the quality of...
(to be continued...)
"How odd" he thought, "they're not supposed to be here until Tuesday". There was only one thing to do. Performing a swift entrechat he then opened the calendar and set it to Tuesday. This,of course, was likely to upset the Royal Astronomer, but in the wider view it mattered not one jot. He was aware that the Gregorian calendar adopted in 1582 was in fact in error. The effect of the temporal offset of 0.002% against the Julian calendar to regularise the date of Easter had in fact been eroded, largely due the chancellor's recent austerity measures.
In effect, last Thursday had been cancelled and the extra leap seconds accumulated since 1582 meant that today was indeed Tuesday. Feeling rather self assured he approached the first of the three amigos and with a swift double Smirnoff he jumped in the taxi, "quickly, to the nearest eyewear emporium, I need to restore the plaquette before meeting the marchioness for a spot of dwarf tossing at the Dog and Duck in the Old Kent Road, followed by cheese rolling down the hill, some Morris dancing and then back to Gladys, who by this time has her version of events concerning the three amigos"...
Not in my lifetime pal, she said, swigging back the bitter tears of the dusky memories that had plagued her all her life. Why are men all unable to put the seat down, she sniffed "I don't need to put up with this, I have a cycling proficiency certificate and my Tuffty Club membership is still valid", she though to herself, but the sudden ban from PPRuNe was still uppermost in her mind so she decided now was her chance to take revenge so armed with nothing more than her trusty router and peanut butter sandwich, she plugged in the sandwich (which really was a disguise for her tablet) and hacked into Nigeria Central Bank.
By candle light she started to type: " Dear Sirs, I am well pleased to tell you yous has won a fountain pen and a lifelong subscription to "The Journal of Black Country Blues and Dixieland Jazz". To recieve this excellent offer all you need to do is send us your credit card details". After sending it off, she set off with a spade and the family bucket in the direction of the local NHS Care in the Community centre, where being met by a lady in a white coat, asked for directions to the beach, she needed some sand for building a new health centre in Castle design to fit in culturally with the area and also to attend to the matter of her lapsed ASBO for interfering with postal ballot papers for the election of the Grand Poobha at the White Chapel Masonic Lodge, the prospective candidate being a former teddy bear manufacturer, a distant relative to Plod.
Due to this Plod had always harboured ideas of an inheritance, he fancied himself as a teddy bear magnate, mixing with the good and great of Little Snorkeling on the Wold. If only his old schoolmaster had not turned him off Latin, how different things could have turned out.
It was here the tale took an unexpected turn, arriving from Milton Keynes without warning, his former camel wrestling tutor, who, whip in hand and camel in tow, said hey babe, take a walk on the boardwalk, the council only recently relaid new teak planks.
In the meanwhile, Gladys and her new partner Irmintrude began to sew 10 thousand sequins onto her ballgown for the final of Strictly Come Sequin-sewing, very popular with the over 80's, who miss Black and White TV with the commentary of the colours of the outfits and the quality of...
(to be continued...)
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