return the Bronx statute of the 16th century to its rightful place viz the Lord Chancellor's very deep and very moist depository. Meanwhile, Gladys has demonstrated her new Bavarian technique to the ho, who thought it a marvelous idea.
They called Plod and asked him to pick up Bernadette Bernadotte of Bern on the way, and come over to the stage to demonstrate his own version of the ho followed by Bernadette Bernadotte of Bern performing a duo pole dance with the ho, while Gladys and Plod were apprehended by the bouncer for the small sachet found in the lining of Gladys' padded bra which she'd placed there the night before during a clandestine meeting with the geezer with the Ford Capri. However, Plod protested innocence despite traces on his waistcoat, indicative of having had contact with Glady's generous cleavage and extracting the car keys which she habitually stored there.
Picking up the ho, they hoofed it to the car park just in time to be intercepted by their favourite dwarf who asked to be thrown a coming out party for his debutant twin sisters, but for Plod the game was on, he needed a swift getaway in order to catch the ho before it started to rain. After a few circuits around the town square he caught her, and together they walked to what later, in court, became known as a public poll investigating public opinion on the use of mustard as a substitute for Vick's vaporub for the treatment of the underlying cause of Plod's irritable itch on his nose and his reading of surreal poetry by the light of the silvery moon that shone brightly on Plod's Austin Allegro, parked in a disabled bay in readiness to deliver the box of Cadbury's Milk Tray that had by now become a gooey mess that the dwarf and the ho were merrily smearing on each other, in preparation for their participation in the "Bake Off" tv programme.
Plod has not been seen on screen since the incident with the Welsh rabbit that Glady's was about to do a Ronnie Pickering on, but instead she decided to wait for Plod to return from his covert liaison with her at no 29. Instead, however, she put on her comfy bunny slippers, opened a family packet of Haribos and signed on to her Tinder account; she thought wistfully, Plod can go and while he's gone maybe she can persuade the dwarf and the ho to help her to re-enact the last episode, this time without the police intervention and subsequent high speed car chase scenes.
She knew the ho was an excellent driver, but it was somewhat unnerving going at 120 km/h in that dinky little mini coupe through all those tunnels trying to simultaneously stop the dwarf from mooning at the nuns and navigating the way through the approaching Magic Roundabout at Swindon which was curiously surrounded by police cars manned by Plod look-a-likes. Meanwhile the dwarf was in the back of the car doing a fairly good tango with Bernadette Bernadotte of Bern.
The ho turned to Plod and said: "I think I've told you before, I really have a doctorate in the quantum properties of rare earth elements at micro-Kelvin temperatures. I'm ho-ing in my spare time to finance the research, you have no idea how niggardly they are with funding."
"Do you think I really enjoy the pole dancing? Of course I do, it's a great way to keep fit and be paid for it. And I get away from that stuffy lab and meet some interesting people, have a bit of fun and make some money. What's not to like about it?"
Then she became busy with some tricky driving in the round-about and Plod...
(to be continued...)
7/8
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